‘What’s with Mr London? What was he lifting you for?’
Riya laughed. ‘Oh, Ro. Ro is an old buddy. He’s mad.’
She even had a nickname for him, Ro. It means ‘cry’in Hindi. I
wanted Ro to ro.
‘Are you jealous?’
‘Not at all.’
‘Yes, you are.’
‘Whatever, let’s go back in.’
She stood up.‘You liked my parents?’
I nodded.You can’t say you didn’t like someone’s parents.
‘Good. Come, let’s go in before they start getting ideas.’
Ideas? What ideas? I wanted to ask her.
We walked into the garden.The music drowned out my thoughts.
The younger crowd danced around the pool. Rohan danced with
Riya’s friends. He called out to us. I wondered if I could pretend to
dance and kick Ro into the water.
Of course, I didn’t do that. I refused to dance. I couldn’t embarrass
myself in front of this crowd. In Dumraon, we danced like mad
people. We played loud music and moved our bodies frantically. Also,
men and women never danced together. Here, Rohan danced with each
girl for a few seconds. Sometimes, he would hold their hand while
dancing, and the girl would be all giggles. What is so funny about a
rich guy holding your hand? He even held Riya’s hand once. She
twirled around him. My internal organs twirled inside me. I couldn’t
do anything but look away.
A waiter came up to me.
‘Are you Madhav jha, sir?’ he said.
‘Yes,
’I said, surprised he knew my name.
‘I am from Dumraon, too.’
‘Oh, how do you know I am from there?’
'The guard outside told me. Nice to meet you, sir. Feels like I’ve
met someone from home.’
The waiter spoke to me for few minutes, shook my hand and left.
Riya raised her eyebrows from the dance floor, wondering what I
was doing with the waiter. I shook my head and smiled.
There are things some people can never understand. There’s no
point telling them.
CHETAN BHAGAT - HALF GIRLFRIEND NOVEL
Re: CHETAN BHAGAT - HALF GIRLFRIEND NOVEL
9
'Even I have no fucking idea what sushi is,
’ Ashu said.
‘It’s Japanese food. How the fuck are we supposed to know? Do
they know our litti-chokha?’Raman said.
He dug his fork deep into the mound of biryani piled high on his
plate. We were in the dining hall for Sunday dinner and a post-mortem
of Riya’s party.
‘Sushi is no big deal. The bigger deal is she didn’t make you feel
special,
’ Shailesh said.
He adjusted his spectacles and drank a glass of water. Shailesh,
always the straight talker, had silenced everyone with his statement.
The sound of cutlery filled the awkward silence.
‘Trouble, brother, trouble,
’ Shailesh said, after a minute.
'But she kissed him,
’Ashu said.
‘Toys. Told you about rich people and their toys,
’ Shailesh said.
I ate my food. My friends further analysed the situation. In my
heart I knew Riya didn’t see me as a toy. We had a connection. But my
heart can be over-imaginative and stupid.
‘I’ll talk to her,
’I said.
‘What? Enough talking. Now do,
’Raman said.
‘Do what?’I said.
Raman shook his head. Everyone smiled.
‘Listen, Madhav, I don’t want to break your heart. But you do
know such a girl is beyond you,
’Raman said.
‘What do you mean?’I said, putting my fork down on the table.
‘Look at them. Look at you. You forgot your aukaat or what?’
Raman had spoken in a flat, controlled voice. However, it hurt. It
hurt like he had taken his blunt fork and jabbed it into my chest. It
hurt because he didn’t think I deserved Riya. It hurt because he had
spoken the truth.
‘Why does she hang out with me all the time?’I said. ‘She can
have all the rich friends she wants. In fact, she does.’
‘You are the new exotic creature in her life. She’s bored with
everything else,
’Raman said.
‘Are you always this pessimistic?’ Ashu said. Only the fat kid
supported me. I transferred the gulab jamun from, my plate on to his.
‘The statistical probability is low,
’ Shailesh said, in his academic
voice.‘However, my friend Raman should know that love does happen
between classes.’
‘If this is love, why is she avoiding a relationship?’Raman said. He
stood up to leave. He had finished his dinner and what he wanted to
say.
Ashu thanked me for the gulab jamun. ‘Raman has no experience
with girls. You are doing well. Take it slow. Everything will be fine,
’ he
said.
‘What do you think, Shailesh?’I said.
Of the four of us, I trusted Shailesh’s judgement the most. He
topped the class and was the most well-read. Of course, like us, he had
little experience with women. He drank another glass of water.
‘Yes, don’t rush it. However, don’t stall it either,
’ Shailesh said.
‘What does that mean?’ Ashu said on my behalf.
‘Keep it slow, but keep escalating,
’Raman said.
‘Escalating? What? How?’I said.
‘What’s the clearest sign a girl likes you?’ Shailesh said.
‘She spends time with you?’I said.
‘Wrong,
’ Shailesh said and stood up as well.
‘So then?’I said.
‘You know the answer. Now do it,
’ Shailesh said and left.
*
‘What do you want to talk about?’Riya said.
She had worn a lemon-coloured chikan salwar-kameez to college
that day. We sat under the big banyan tree in between classes. Her hair
blew in all directions in the afternoon breeze.
‘Thanks for the party,
’I said.
‘You are welcome. Like I told you, it isn’t really my scene but my
parents wanted to do it.’
‘Riya, that’s your world. It was me who didn’t fit in.’
‘I can fit in, but I can’t relate to it. I’d rather have a meaningful
conversation over chai than catered sushi with plastic smiles.’
‘How’s Rohan? Sorry, Ro,
’I said.
‘He made quite an impression on you. He’s cool, no?’
‘See, you find him cool. That is your world; I said.
‘He’s over the top and a bit of a show-off. But at least Rohan's fun.
The rest are all boring businessmen who only talk money and
property.’
‘Go have fun then,
’I said and looked away from her.
She tugged at my elbow.
‘Anyway, forget the party. Eye contact, please.’
Eyes squinting against the mid-morning sun, she draped her yellow
dupatta around her face. She looked like a bunch of yellow flowers. I
had to be firm. I ignored how cute she was, lest it weaken my resolve.
‘What did you want to talk about?’she asked again.
‘The kiss,
’I said.
Riya giggled.‘I can’t believe I am the girl and you are the guy. The
guy wants to talk about it.’
‘Very funny. Now can we discuss it?’
‘What about the kiss? You forced it on me.’
Her answer stumped me. I didn’t know what to say.
‘I... I did it because...' I fumbled for words.
‘Yes, why? Why did you do it, Mr Jha?’
‘Because I...I love you.’
Riya burst out laughing. I didn’t like her laughter this time.
‘Can you please be serious? Your casual behaviour hurts me,
’I
said.
She composed herself and sat cross-legged under the tree.
‘Okay, fine, Madhav, I will be serious. I laughed because I don’t
think you are in love with me.’
‘Oh, really? How do you know that?’
Up to page 74 completed
'Even I have no fucking idea what sushi is,
’ Ashu said.
‘It’s Japanese food. How the fuck are we supposed to know? Do
they know our litti-chokha?’Raman said.
He dug his fork deep into the mound of biryani piled high on his
plate. We were in the dining hall for Sunday dinner and a post-mortem
of Riya’s party.
‘Sushi is no big deal. The bigger deal is she didn’t make you feel
special,
’ Shailesh said.
He adjusted his spectacles and drank a glass of water. Shailesh,
always the straight talker, had silenced everyone with his statement.
The sound of cutlery filled the awkward silence.
‘Trouble, brother, trouble,
’ Shailesh said, after a minute.
'But she kissed him,
’Ashu said.
‘Toys. Told you about rich people and their toys,
’ Shailesh said.
I ate my food. My friends further analysed the situation. In my
heart I knew Riya didn’t see me as a toy. We had a connection. But my
heart can be over-imaginative and stupid.
‘I’ll talk to her,
’I said.
‘What? Enough talking. Now do,
’Raman said.
‘Do what?’I said.
Raman shook his head. Everyone smiled.
‘Listen, Madhav, I don’t want to break your heart. But you do
know such a girl is beyond you,
’Raman said.
‘What do you mean?’I said, putting my fork down on the table.
‘Look at them. Look at you. You forgot your aukaat or what?’
Raman had spoken in a flat, controlled voice. However, it hurt. It
hurt like he had taken his blunt fork and jabbed it into my chest. It
hurt because he didn’t think I deserved Riya. It hurt because he had
spoken the truth.
‘Why does she hang out with me all the time?’I said. ‘She can
have all the rich friends she wants. In fact, she does.’
‘You are the new exotic creature in her life. She’s bored with
everything else,
’Raman said.
‘Are you always this pessimistic?’ Ashu said. Only the fat kid
supported me. I transferred the gulab jamun from, my plate on to his.
‘The statistical probability is low,
’ Shailesh said, in his academic
voice.‘However, my friend Raman should know that love does happen
between classes.’
‘If this is love, why is she avoiding a relationship?’Raman said. He
stood up to leave. He had finished his dinner and what he wanted to
say.
Ashu thanked me for the gulab jamun. ‘Raman has no experience
with girls. You are doing well. Take it slow. Everything will be fine,
’ he
said.
‘What do you think, Shailesh?’I said.
Of the four of us, I trusted Shailesh’s judgement the most. He
topped the class and was the most well-read. Of course, like us, he had
little experience with women. He drank another glass of water.
‘Yes, don’t rush it. However, don’t stall it either,
’ Shailesh said.
‘What does that mean?’ Ashu said on my behalf.
‘Keep it slow, but keep escalating,
’Raman said.
‘Escalating? What? How?’I said.
‘What’s the clearest sign a girl likes you?’ Shailesh said.
‘She spends time with you?’I said.
‘Wrong,
’ Shailesh said and stood up as well.
‘So then?’I said.
‘You know the answer. Now do it,
’ Shailesh said and left.
*
‘What do you want to talk about?’Riya said.
She had worn a lemon-coloured chikan salwar-kameez to college
that day. We sat under the big banyan tree in between classes. Her hair
blew in all directions in the afternoon breeze.
‘Thanks for the party,
’I said.
‘You are welcome. Like I told you, it isn’t really my scene but my
parents wanted to do it.’
‘Riya, that’s your world. It was me who didn’t fit in.’
‘I can fit in, but I can’t relate to it. I’d rather have a meaningful
conversation over chai than catered sushi with plastic smiles.’
‘How’s Rohan? Sorry, Ro,
’I said.
‘He made quite an impression on you. He’s cool, no?’
‘See, you find him cool. That is your world; I said.
‘He’s over the top and a bit of a show-off. But at least Rohan's fun.
The rest are all boring businessmen who only talk money and
property.’
‘Go have fun then,
’I said and looked away from her.
She tugged at my elbow.
‘Anyway, forget the party. Eye contact, please.’
Eyes squinting against the mid-morning sun, she draped her yellow
dupatta around her face. She looked like a bunch of yellow flowers. I
had to be firm. I ignored how cute she was, lest it weaken my resolve.
‘What did you want to talk about?’she asked again.
‘The kiss,
’I said.
Riya giggled.‘I can’t believe I am the girl and you are the guy. The
guy wants to talk about it.’
‘Very funny. Now can we discuss it?’
‘What about the kiss? You forced it on me.’
Her answer stumped me. I didn’t know what to say.
‘I... I did it because...' I fumbled for words.
‘Yes, why? Why did you do it, Mr Jha?’
‘Because I...I love you.’
Riya burst out laughing. I didn’t like her laughter this time.
‘Can you please be serious? Your casual behaviour hurts me,
’I
said.
She composed herself and sat cross-legged under the tree.
‘Okay, fine, Madhav, I will be serious. I laughed because I don’t
think you are in love with me.’
‘Oh, really? How do you know that?’
Up to page 74 completed
Re: CHETAN BHAGAT - HALF GIRLFRIEND NOVEL
‘Have you been in love before?’
‘No.’
‘So how do you know it’s love?'
He
r confusing words left me tongue-tied.
‘How do you know it’s not?’ I said after half a minute.
‘I know it is not, We are both too young, inexperienced but
curious. Sure, we like each other. But love? Please.’
'Riya, you have no idea how much you mean to me. I would do
an
yth
ing for you. Anything,’ I said.
Our eyes locked. For a few seconds, even the articulate Miss Riya
Somani didn’t have words.
‘Madhav, you mean a lot to me too. But...'
‘But what?’
‘I am not sure if I want a relationship right now. With anyone.’
Ho
w does one answer that? I had no idea.
‘I don’t mean that much to you then,’ I said.
‘We hang out all the time. Aren’t we almost a couple?’
‘So what’s wrong with the next step?’
The bell rang for class. We stood up to leave.
‘What’s the next step, Madhav?’ she said, as we walked towards
class.
I scratched my head to think of an answer.
‘Become my girlfriend.’
‘Oh. And what does that involve? Getting physical?’
‘Maybe. That’s often part of it.’
She smiled and shook her head in an all-knowing manner.
We
stopped as we reached our respective classrooms.
‘Please, Riya,’ I said. 'Please be my girlfriend.’
‘Is this a proposal?’ she said.
‘If that’s how you see it.’
‘I’ll think about it.’
‘You’ll tell me after class?’
She grabbed my shoulders and turned me towards my classroom, *
Riya didn’t come to college the next day. I briefed my friends-cumrelationship-experts about the proposal while eating lunch in the
dining hall.
Shailesh felt I had come across as desperate. Ashu thought I had
handled it well.
‘Well, did she tell you her decision afterwards?’ Raman said, ‘No.
An
d today she is absent,’ I said.
‘See? Desperate. She's skipped college to avoid you,’ Shailesh said.
‘To avoid me?’
Shailesh shrugged.
‘You better get an answer,’ Raman said.
‘You better do it with her,’ Shailesh said. Everyone fell silent.
‘Do what?’ I said. The boys guffawed.
‘You guys are sick.’
‘She’s using you. Time pass until a real guy comes along,’ Shailesh
said, picking his teeth with a toothpick.
‘Ignore Shailesh. Find out why she’s absent. Message her,’ Ashu
said.
‘Should I? She’s supposed to answer my question,’ I said.
The boys didn’t answer either. I came to my room after lunch. I
had a mobile phone now. Even though expensive, I would use it
sometimes to call Riya.
I composed a message. Did not see you in college. Everything
OK?
I deleted the text and re-typed it three times. Finally, I pressed send.
The worst wait in life is waiting for someone to text back. Riya
didn’t answer for an hour. It felt like a week. After that one hour, I
sent the same message again. That way, it would come across as a
double delivery rather than me being desperate. It is funny how, when
fr
iendship moves towards a relationship, every message requires
aw
ar
eness and strategy.The second message went, disguised as a
screw-up of Airtel.
She didn’t reply for another hour. I wanted to call her. It felt lame.
‘No.’
‘So how do you know it’s love?'
He
r confusing words left me tongue-tied.
‘How do you know it’s not?’ I said after half a minute.
‘I know it is not, We are both too young, inexperienced but
curious. Sure, we like each other. But love? Please.’
'Riya, you have no idea how much you mean to me. I would do
an
yth
ing for you. Anything,’ I said.
Our eyes locked. For a few seconds, even the articulate Miss Riya
Somani didn’t have words.
‘Madhav, you mean a lot to me too. But...'
‘But what?’
‘I am not sure if I want a relationship right now. With anyone.’
Ho
w does one answer that? I had no idea.
‘I don’t mean that much to you then,’ I said.
‘We hang out all the time. Aren’t we almost a couple?’
‘So what’s wrong with the next step?’
The bell rang for class. We stood up to leave.
‘What’s the next step, Madhav?’ she said, as we walked towards
class.
I scratched my head to think of an answer.
‘Become my girlfriend.’
‘Oh. And what does that involve? Getting physical?’
‘Maybe. That’s often part of it.’
She smiled and shook her head in an all-knowing manner.
We
stopped as we reached our respective classrooms.
‘Please, Riya,’ I said. 'Please be my girlfriend.’
‘Is this a proposal?’ she said.
‘If that’s how you see it.’
‘I’ll think about it.’
‘You’ll tell me after class?’
She grabbed my shoulders and turned me towards my classroom, *
Riya didn’t come to college the next day. I briefed my friends-cumrelationship-experts about the proposal while eating lunch in the
dining hall.
Shailesh felt I had come across as desperate. Ashu thought I had
handled it well.
‘Well, did she tell you her decision afterwards?’ Raman said, ‘No.
An
d today she is absent,’ I said.
‘See? Desperate. She's skipped college to avoid you,’ Shailesh said.
‘To avoid me?’
Shailesh shrugged.
‘You better get an answer,’ Raman said.
‘You better do it with her,’ Shailesh said. Everyone fell silent.
‘Do what?’ I said. The boys guffawed.
‘You guys are sick.’
‘She’s using you. Time pass until a real guy comes along,’ Shailesh
said, picking his teeth with a toothpick.
‘Ignore Shailesh. Find out why she’s absent. Message her,’ Ashu
said.
‘Should I? She’s supposed to answer my question,’ I said.
The boys didn’t answer either. I came to my room after lunch. I
had a mobile phone now. Even though expensive, I would use it
sometimes to call Riya.
I composed a message. Did not see you in college. Everything
OK?
I deleted the text and re-typed it three times. Finally, I pressed send.
The worst wait in life is waiting for someone to text back. Riya
didn’t answer for an hour. It felt like a week. After that one hour, I
sent the same message again. That way, it would come across as a
double delivery rather than me being desperate. It is funny how, when
fr
iendship moves towards a relationship, every message requires
aw
ar
eness and strategy.The second message went, disguised as a
screw-up of Airtel.
She didn’t reply for another hour. I wanted to call her. It felt lame.